A year ago today, May 11, 2014, KP and I had a BBQ party at our house. It was a sort of combo celebration, celebrating KP’s birthday (5/10), Mother’s Day (5/11), and the birth of our new baby (4/24). KP’s mom had bought him a new grill for his birthday when she’d been out for the birth, and KP hadn’t grilled in a long time and wanted an excuse. So we threw a party.

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The sign reads: “Happy Birthday [KP]! Welcome Baby [S]! Happy Mother’s Day! BBQ”
Well, not “we”. I went along with it and I baked a birthday cake, but I did nothing else for the event.

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I baked a cake.
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And I had a TWO WEEK old baby.

And I’m pretty sure that any other new mom anywhere would have said NO WAY IN THE WORLD to hosting an event at her house with only a two week old baby – and had it been any other time in my life I absolutely would have refused too – but on May 11, 2014 I allowed the party. I allowed it because deep down I secretly wondered if it might actually be masquerading as an unannounced goodbye party for us instead. I couldn’t ignore the possibility that it might be the last opportunity we’d have to see friends before…that thing…that we hardly spoke of or named…that was looming closer and closer…would be unavoidable. We only had a few more weeks to decide for sure, and at best another month or two before we’d have to go. Throw in the towel. Give up on this city and the dreams we once thought we’d achieve here. Start over. Somewhere. Doing something else. It was the end of our line. We could no longer afford it.

We hadn’t been able to afford it for awhile now. But I was about to have a baby/newborn and KP was still working on that FX pilot, that if sold, could be our saving grace. So we’d held on.

But we were quite figuratively at the end of the rope.

I’d felt silly when KP had received the new grill as a gift, because I knew that we might be turning around and selling it a few weeks later if we were moving. I had a hard time accepting the porch rocker and rug that my mom had bought for our back patio for the same reason; I thought we might have to get rid of it soon. I’d almost rather them have gifted us grocery store gift cards, which we had more immediate need for. But you can’t say things like that, and they were gifts, and I figured that in the meantime, we might as well enjoy them. If so be it, well, then at least we were going out with a party.

So Sun. May 11, 2014, we had a party.

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The next weekend, a friend of KP’s contacted KP because he needed a temporary copy writer for a tv/film trailer house and brought KP in. At first, KP was only being hired for two-week chunks at a time. But that job somehow continued and is continuing to this day. KP’s friend unknowingly saved us from giving up. He will ALWAYS hold a very special place in my heart and I am forever thankful for his small gesture. He is an angel to us.

How things have changed since then. Our entire lives have turned around since one year ago exactly, May 11, 2014.

On June 18th, 2014, FX passed on the pilot. The rejection stung, as it always does, and had KP not had his then-temporary job, that would have been the sign for us to put in our 30-day notice, pack up the family, and move back into our parent’s house.

But we didn’t have to. We could keep going. And we’ve kept going.

And we’re now where we are today, one year later, May 11, 2015.

We’re still figuring out our futures. We’re still chasing those dreams that brought us here in the first place. We’re still waiting for that big break.

But we both are in better mindsets about everything. We’re still throwing out lines, seeing what catches. But we’re hopeful again. And excited to see where things go. And even if things go nowhere, well, we’ve gone through it before and we’ll go though it again.

And we’ll go through it together. Always.

 

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