I should probably be used to this by now, how to handle these times of waiting. They come and go with every big potential project; sometimes they result in great things, sometimes they don’t. I should have long ago adapted and found ways to deal with this, and discovered how to best keep going, and how to be productive each day, and how to juggle the enthusiastic hope for the best with the nagging fear of rejection.
But I’ve never really figured out a way to make any of it any easier. So I just push on. Keep on keeping on. One foot in front of the other. One day after another.
Until something happens. Until there’s news. Good news, or bad news. Just something.
What will the rest of this month look like? Are we on the brink of a famine – or of a feast? Should we splurge a bit of money on this thing we’ve been wanting? Or should we save every penny we can right now?
We try not to say anything, to not jinx anything. To just wait and see. To be patient. Eternally patient. There’s always this potential. There’s always this hope.
Every phone ring is a possibility. Every day could be THE day. Every moment could change things forever.
I try not to think of all this. I try to live life normal during these stages, to brush aside any kind of definitive vision for the future. I cannot know the future. I can only trust that there’s purpose in ours.
Eventually this time period will end, and eventually there will be an answer, and eventually, no matter what happens, we will still go on. We will keep on keeping on. Putting one foot in front of the other. Living one day at a time.
I should have titled this post: So You Wanna Know What It’s Really Like When Your Spouse Pursues a Writing Career? Because this is it. Not exactly glitz and glamour.
But it is what it is. This waiting time of life will come again and this waiting time of life will pass again. And no matter what, we survive.