Rambling Ronni

The Theory of Some Things

About a week ago I read someone online about how many people are addicted to suffering. This sounds all psychologist mumbo jumbo at first, but then I read a bit more and realized – this guy on on to something here. Maybe “suffering” is the wrong word. Maybe GUILT is the better word. At least […] Read more…

Rambling Ronni: Act 2: You Do You, You Rebel You

One month ago yesterday, we moved. I’ve posted a couple pictures on instagram since then – never of the actual inside of the house. Never a clear shot of the outside either. Or the amazing yard….I mean yardS, as in plural. I’ve only posted small moments of this new life.

I don’t know if I’m ready to publicly show off our new home. 

Which probably sounds strange, considering I unashamedly plastered the internet with the details of my 700 sq ft, Family of 5 home.  Read more…

Rambling Ronni: 8 years is a long time. It’s time to move on.

Early, early Saturday morning, way before dawn, I woke up. I couldn’t go back to sleep. Filled with an anxiety similar to what I’d felt the morning before the birth of my third child. 

Knowing that the near future was inevitable, yet it still felt so impossible. 

Oh, those awful moments of waiting. Of knowing that the then-present would forever be defined as the precursor to what it was that came next. Read more…

Rambling Ronni: My house is small. We need to move. We can’t move.

I’ve been feeling down the past few days. It’s stupid, I know, in the grand scheme of it all. And we’re already so lucky to even have what we have. We have a home, health, happiness. We’re blessed. Truly.

But even still, I’ve found myself discouraged. I can’t tell you how much KP and I would love to move to a new house. A larger house. Or even just a house with a second toilet. Or maybe central air. Or a real backyard. Or, such a beautiful thought – HARDWOOD FLOORS {swoon!}.

When we got back from our big roadtrip a week ago and looked ahead to 2018, we let ourselves dream. We started looking online at rental homes in the area. I even went to a couple showings. Just because. And you know what? Read more…

Rambling Ronni: My 5 Month Old Likes To Scream

I want to have a cool blog. I want to have a big enough blog that I can earn enough money from so that we can move into a larger home but still stay in my (now ridiculously overpriced  ) community. But I don’t want a ‘sell-out’ blog. I want a blog that feels honest and real and truthful and helpful. I want to help other marriages in tough places. I want to help, in some small way however I can, build up families and society and leave something good to come out of my existence on this earth.

And I also want my 5 month old to stop screaming so much. 

It makes it really hard to think. Read more…

Rambling Ronni: Kids & writing & keeping on.

KP and I are writing again. We pulled out our script from last year, and are sprucing up a scene or two to make it sparkle more. That’s actually what I’m supposed to be working on at this coffee shop right now. Man, writing with a spouse is hard. Writing with 3 young kids is hard too. Read more…

Rambling Ronni: Living, dying, spacetime.

There are more thoughts in my head than I have time to think about. To write out. To acknowledge. To make matter.

I’m stuck in my own world, in my own head, pondering. Feeling. Watching. Hoping.
Caught in this moment. This brief moment. Of all time. Of all existence.

My baby’s growing. I’m getting older. Years will pass. What is modern becomes what is outdated.
Everyone who came before me: I will soon be like you.
Everyone who comes after me: You will soon be like me. Read more…

Rambling Ronni: All the Postpartum Feelings

Sure, they mention the sleep deprivation. They mention the symptoms of postpartum depression that you’re supposed to contact your care provider if you start experiencing. They may even mention where to get breastfeeding support if you need it. 

But it’s more than that. So much more than that.  Read more…

Rambling Ronni: Today is my due date.

Today is Baby #3’s due date. Thankfully, he’s here already and arrived 6 days ago. I’ve been trying to piece together his birth story because I really, really want to blog about it. Writing out my birth stories after each birth has been really therapeutic for me. Not that I’ve had traumatic births. I haven;t. But just because labor/birth in and out of itself is such a transformative process. Like for real. This new person come out of you. It’s crazy.

I’ve written about birth before.

Anyway. I really am trying to get the birth story together. But until then, this Rambling Ronni post will have to suffice. Read more…

Rambling Ronni: I’m sorry I talk about being pregnant so much.

It took KP and I two years before I got pregnant with my first child. There was a lot of emotion and frustration and impatience and stress during that time time of trying so that when I did end up pregnant, I tried to be ultra-sensitive to anyone else who might still be trying to conceive. I hardly ever talked about the daily realities of being pregnant. I tried to never complain. I felt almost like i wasn’t “allowed” to. After all, I should be so happy to be pregnant – and I was – that I felt guilty ever being negative about anything.  Read more…

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